Discernment Counselling

Discernment Counseling is a new way of helping couples where one person is “leaning out” of the relationship—and not sure that regular couples therapy would help–and the other is “leaning in”—that is, interested in rebuilding the relationship.  If you or your spouse are considering separation/divorce but are not completely sure that’s the best path, Discernment Counseling is designed for you. It’s a chance to slow down, take a breath, and look at your options.

The goal of this process is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future.  I will help you decide on one of three paths to follow: work to restore your relationship to health, move toward separation/divorce, or take a time out and decide later.

I will respectfully explore your reasons for divorce while also investigating the possibility of restoring the relationship to health. The goal is not to solve the problems in the relationship, but to see if they are solvable. 

A significant benefit of the process is the opportunity for each of you to see your own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships even if this one ends.  You will each be treated with compassion and respect no matter how you are feeling about your relationship at the moment. No bad guys and good guys.

Discernment Counselling is a brief process with a maximum of five counseling sessions. The first session is two hours and any subsequent meetings are 90 minutes. You will come in as a couple but the most of the time will be spent in one-to-one conversations with the counselor.